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The other day, I pissed off my GPS and I don’t know if she will ever forgive me. Now, if you have read for a while, you know that I got my GPS for Christmas last year. Small Town Mommy had a contest to name the GPS and the winning name was Heidi Claire. I received this GPS because I am chronically lost. I can get lost in the Small Town, where I have lived for more than 8 years. For the most part, Heidi Claire and I get along great. She tells me where to go and I follow blindly. Occasionally, she has even introduced me to faster routes from one place to another. More often, she might not pick the most direct route, but we eventually reach our destination. The only time we run into trouble is when I don’t follow her instructions blindly. Sometimes, I will put in a final destination and will have a few short errands detours I plan along the way. That is when Heidi Claire gets pissed. On the day in question (I so totally sound like an attorney), I was meeting a friend for lunch so I programmed the address for the deli into my GPS. On the way, I wanted to stop at the library (I am all about free books). Since the library and the deli were in opposite directions, I turned right when Heidi Claire said to go left. There we go, now she was pissed. In her snide tone, she said, “recalculating.” Then she told me to turn right. I had the nerve to ignore her again. She insisted more loudly, “Turn right!” (obviously if I am not listening to her instructions, I must be deaf). Then, the snide, “recalculating” again. ”Turn right dammit.” OK, she didn’t actually swear, but I recognized the expletive in her tone. Again, I ignored her and received another “recalculating” for my efforts. Then I turned left when she asked. ”Finally,” said her tone. I took that road until she told me to turn left. I turned right. After my visit to the library, I followed her instructions since the deli was my next stop. Heidi Claire seemed appeased, but I still don’t think she has forgiven me. I think she is waiting until I have my next meeting in New York City so she can take me through the most dangerous part of the Bronx. If you don’t hear back from me, send out a search party. 
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Posted on 19:39, September 9th, 2009 by 
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You are tooooo funny! Love your post!
I wonder if they all get together and talk about us as if we really don’t have a clue as to where we are going, I mean where we were going, I mean where we are…..
Those pesky relationships!
I am HORRIBLE at directions! I live in a mountain state, yet you can’t tell me East or West, it must be right or left. I am amazed no one has gotten me a GPS yet, I have gotten a lot of compasses, though!
My husband would swear that he was sitting next to me!! He never listens to my directions and so I know the tone. Although, I think I would be tempted to throw the gadget out the window if it gave it to me. I get enough “tone” from the kids!
Oh, I HATE the demeaning tone the GPS gets when it says “recalculating”! You half expect it to call you a nasty name… “recalculating…dipstick”. GPS is great for navigating in populated areas but in the back end of nowhere, not so much (which is where you really NEED those directions)…go figure.
I love it, and sooooooo relate. Got my GPS for Mother’s Day, cause hubby says I’m geographically challenged. It does help, and I do work at it, but I do indeed get lost easily. Hubby loves to ignore it, and you’re right about the tone…it’s like it’s say…why did you turn me on if you’re not going to listen to me, jerk!
LOL
Sandy
I bet she gets really pissed if you forget her birthday or anniversary. I don’t have one but my son does. He has no sense of direction and gets lost going around the block. I don’t know where he gets it from because I have a very good sense of direction.
I’d have tossed her out the window with that attitude.
I think you are safe until she tells you to “close the pod bay door.”
THEN you should start to worry.
Unless I am totally dating myself and you don’t know what I am talking about.
That’s funny! My parents GPS took them (and the 36 ft camper they were towing) down a road not much more than a cow path and they got stuck. Isn’t technology wonderful!
Those things do have attitudes at times. I was sort of getting miffed at my GPS’s attitude and then someone broke into my van and STOLE her. Now? I miss her, and she’s on my Christmas list…
If you really wanted to sound like an attorney, you should have added a few allegedlies. Heidi Claire allegedly said turn left. Heidi Claire allegedly got pissed. That way, she couldn’t sue you for defamation.
I’m one of those people who gets lost everywhere, but I don’t have a GPS. I still do the Mapquest thing, and those directions aren’t always right either. At least it doesn’t talk back though.
Uh oh. Methinks she’s out to get you mwaaahhahahaha