This week was parent/teacher conference week at the Small Town elementary school.  For the kids, it means they get out early for most of the week.  For the parents, it means we have to cart our carcasses up to the school to find out what is actually going on at school (as opposed to the report we receive from our children).

We are very lucky.  If a family has multiple kids at the school, the teachers schedule the conferences consecutively so we only have to make one trip.  I know, I know, there are parents who normally make more than one trip to the school in a day.  But you know what, I’m not one of them (let the critical comments begin).

Today was the Small Town family conference.  With layoffs taking place all over the country, we didn’t feel comfortable having Small Town Daddy leave work, so I went it alone.  First I met with Libby’s teacher.  Now Libby is in fourth grade, so this is not the first meeting I have had about her.  I met with her teacher, we will call him Mr. D.  My conference with Mr. D. was a recitation of Libby’s strengths.  She has always done very well in school and her conferences are basically her teacher telling me how smart she is.  This is what I have experienced for 5 years.  It is what I am used to.  It is what I have grown to expect.

Then I went to meet with Joanna’s kindergarten teacher.  We will call her Mrs. S.  Now Mrs. S. very nice.  And I can’t imagine her saying anything negative about anyone’s child, ever.  But, it wasn’t the glowing report I was used to.  It seems that all of that academic instruction she is trying to implement, has the nerve to cut into Joanna’s social time.  She rushes answers so she can get back to socializing and sometimes, she doesn’t start assignments because she is socializing.  Who is this child and where did she come from?  She has the same mommy and daddy as Libby, she was raised in the same house as Libby, but I never received a report that Libby was socializing when she should have been working.  With her teachers, it has always been about encouraging her to socialize.

I don’t know what to do with a social butterfly.  I can much more relate to a child who is socially reserved.  Is anyone out there very social who can offer advise on what to do with a child who socializes too much in kindergarten (I wouldn’t have even thought that was possible)?  While it is cute in kindergarten, it is probably quite alarming in third grade.  This is not the report I want to continue to receive.

Another problem, how do I downplay the importance of school work for a child who makes herself sick with anxiety while stressing its importance for a child who looks at it as an interruption of her social life.  Believe me, I know that I am lucky that both of my girls are healthy, happy, smart little girls, and I am very grateful, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry about them.  I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t worry (yes, Libby comes by her anxiety genetically).  I am open to any and all advice about what to do about my two little opposites.

Yesterday, I was taking Libby to a birthday party and she told me that the reason we have so many deer in our area is that white-tailed deer like marshes. We live surrounded by swamp (sorry, in Connecticut, it is called wetlands, which allows the state to keep me from filling it in to create a backyard). I was so amazed by that. First of all, I had no idea that white-tailed deer liked marshes. Second, I love it when Libby tells me something I don’t know.

For those of you with younger kids, you will find that as your kids get older they know all kinds of things that you know nothing about. There are so many times when we are out and about in town and a strange child will come up to Libby and give her a big hug. I never know any of these kids and since Libby is so bad with names, she usuallyoften doesn’t know their names either.

As our kids get older, they are supposed to grow into people who are separate from their parents, but it still surprises me every time it is demonstrated. Libby has different opinions, thoughts and ideas from me and I sometimes wonder where they originate. I wish I could be a fly on the wall watching her all day. I love listening to her and watching her develop into a unique individual. I can only hope that she will grow up to be a good person who will be kind to people, happy and successful.

Today, my younger daughter graduated from preschool. I remember when my older daughter graduated, I was excited that she was going to kindergarten and going to be taking the bus (no more driving). I guess it is because she is my youngest, but I am very sad that Joanna is going to elementary school. While I am happy we no longer have to pay for preschool, I am nostalgic that she is growing up so fast.

Of course, graduation was very cute. My little diva just smiled as she performed her song, thrilled to be in the spotlight. When her friend’s mother was taking a picture, she came running so she could get into the picture too (my girl loves all cameras).

Her shoes were too small, so I had to come back after the ceremony to drop off a pair of shoes that fit. Her teacher called me to point out that I was the worst mother ever and my little girl couldn’t walk in her shoes. When I showed up with a bag full of shoes, all the little girls in the class came running to see. It was like grown women and a bag of Jimmy Choos. I guess a love of shoes starts early.