Today is Wednesday which means What the Hell Wednesday.  Wednesdays bring random thoughts that are tied together by the fact that they irritate me.  So here we go.

I got an email yesterday from some company, inviting me to join their affiliate program.  The email said that the writer liked my blog but I don’t think he actually read it.  He wanted me to sell strollers.  If he had actually visited my blog, he would have seen (A) that I don’t do affiliate programs (if I am going to tell you about something good, I want you to know that I am not being paid for it) and (B) I am years past the stroller stage.  What the Hell!?!  Don’t tell me you read my blog and then offer something that doesn’t fit at all.  If you want to buy a stroller, I can’t help you.  But I can tell you that we liked the cheapie umbrella stroller that Toys R Us gave us free when we bought the pricey, expensive stroller.  But that was 11 years ago so I am sure that everything’s different now.  They probably offer a stroller that changes the baby’s diapers.  If they offer it, go for that one.  The baby wont care so you might as well benefit.

I have been trying to convince Small Town Daddy that we need to get a kitten.  He keeps saying no.  What the Hell?!?  We only have 2 cats so a kitten would be a wonderful addition to our family.  My friend Lydia has something like 5 cats and she’s not a crazy cat lady.  She has more kids than I do, why should she be able to beat me in the cat lottery too?  One of our cats doesn’t even like me that much (in fact, she doesn’t really like any of us, she just kind of lets us live in her house, like squatters).

Well, that’s all I have to say.  I think I will go and grab the cat that doesn’t like me and snuggle with her (she hates snuggling more than she hates me).  Meanwhile, leave me a comment letting me know if you think we should get another cat.  Then stop by the Blue Monkey Butt sisters to see what makes them say, “What the Hell!?!

I love email.  Being somewhat socially challenged, email offers me the opportunity to communicate while thinking carefully about what I am going to say before I say it.  In fact, I should do that more often.  There is no excuse for me to make no sense because I am just not paying attention to what I am writing.

Of course, while email can help us to keep in touch with people, sometimes it adds a certain level of stress.  Right now I have 183 emails in my inbox.  All waiting for me to respond.  I have read every one but some require a fair amount of effort to handle so they take a while.  Some of my emails are fun.  A friend wants to get together with the kids.  Some of my emails are lame.  Some prince in Nigeria is giving me his life savings and it will be transferred to my bank account as soon as I send him my account number.  Some are shopping related.  Lands End is offering a discount on backpacks.

If you think about it, email provides a microcosmic view of our lives.  It doesn’t provide the whole picture but it certainly provides a glimpse into what is important to us, what we are doing and where we are going (and where we have been).

So what are your thoughts on email?  Do you love that it allows you to keep in touch with people or do you hate the fact that it can be socially isolating?

Hey, look at that, it’s Wednesday.   That means it is time for What the Hell Wednesday.  Started by the sisters at Blue Monkey Butt, What the Hell Wednesday gives me the opportunity to share some of what’s on my mind (I say some because if I shared everything, it might scare you).

I mentioned a few months ago that I was bathing suit shopping.  I still haven’t gotten one.  The other day, we went to Target and I decided that I would look at the bathing suits.  This was a conscious decision and we even had a family discussion about it before we left.  So we arrived and Libby started looking at the bathing suits.  What the Hell!?!  Since she is 11, she doesn’t really fit into women’s bathing suits but try telling her that (go ahead, try.  She wont listen).  I finally convinced her to look at bathing suits in her size.  So she and Joanna both picked out a group of bathing suits to try on.  Meanwhile, Small Town Daddy loitered outside of the dressing room like a pervert.

An hour later, both girls were able to find bathing suits but I didn’t even have time to try anything.  So I am still bathing suit-less.  I wonder if people would frown if I tried swimming nekkid (remember, simple math: middle aged woman+2 kids=sagging down to here).

Maybe I will go bathing suit shopping tonight.  Because nothing ruins a day like bathing suit shopping.  What the Hell!?!  I have been having a bad day anyway, I might as well cap it off with a trip to go bathing suit shopping.

So let me know, do you like bathing suit shopping?  Okay, no one likes bathing suit shopping so do you have a bathing suit?  Where did you get it?  Was it painful to try and find it?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Ahhh, Monday mornings.  I used to hate Monday mornings.  But now that I love my work, I look forward to Monday mornings.  Everyone leaves my office and it is just me and the animals.  And I am pretty good at ignoring the animals requests (who am I kidding, they sleep all day,  Did you know that cats sleep 16 hours a day?  The dog does a fair amount of sleeping too).

I got into the office this morning as a thunderstorm arrived.  Unfortunately, Hamlet (our 50 lb dog) hates thunderstorms.  So he was barking at the door as I drove into the garage.  When I came into the house, I noticed that he had a ridge of hair standing up on his back.  This happens when he gets scared (he does it with deer and squirrels too).  After kindly suggesting that he man up a little, I headed to the office.  He followed and jumped onto my lap.  It is not easy to work with a dog on my lap (see, that is reason number 652 why Hamlet should be a chihuahua instead of a 50 lb corgador).

Hamlet and I finally arrived at a compromise.  I will sit on the bed to work and he will press himself up against me like a furry blanket.  At least I can reach the computer this way.  Let’s hope the thunder stops soon.  How do thunderstorms disrupt your schedule?

Hey, look at that, it’s Wednesday.  I think it’s time for What the Hell Wednesday.  Since my participation is completely dependent on my mood, there is no consistency.  Of course, every blogging expert advises consistency, so basically, I am going about this all wrong (but at least I recognize my flaws).  Ah well, I am an artist.  That’s right, I’m an artist so I write when inspiration strikes.  Okay, I don’t believe it either, but it makes a handy excuse.  What the Hell!?!

Libby, the 11 year old wonder, got braces on Monday and it has been downhill from there.  She doesn’t enjoy her braces and I have to be honest, I don’t enjoy them either.  What the Hell!?!  You would think she would be grateful for all the sacrifices I have made for her.  Oh my God, I sound like someone’s mother.  What has happened to me? There is also a lot of talk about how things were so much worse when I had braces.  And, I had to walk 20 miles in 6 feet of snow just to get to the orthodontist.  I can’t imagine what is happening to me.  Someone, make me stop!

Last week, I mentioned that I woke up at 3am with a panic attack.  I have discovered that a lot of you are waking up in the middle of the night and finding it difficult to get back to sleep.  What the Hell!?!  Apparently all of us are suffering from too much stress.  Since I can’t do anything about your stress, I thought I would share what often works for me.  I actually discovered it on the Internet and if I could remember where I found it, I would give credit, but I can’t.  If you came up with it, let me know and I will give you appropriate credit.  To get back to the subject at hand, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I try to name types of food that start with each letter of the alphabet.  Sometimes I do desserts.  Sometimes I do savory foods.  Sometimes I do fruits.  It depends on my mood (have you noticed a theme, it almost looks like I am moody).  When I first read it, I didn’t think it would work.  But it usually does (unless it is a full on panic attack).  For example, I will come up with apple crisp, blueberry cobbler, carrot cake, devil dogs, etc.  Okay, now I am hungry, but it usually works without the side effects.

Well I have been rambling on for a little too long so if you are still here (THANK YOU), leave me a comment and head on over to the Blue Monkey Butt sisters.  They started this What the Hell Wednesday thing and they are really awesome chicks too (did I say that too, what is wrong with me).

Also, don’t forget to enter my giveaway to win dinner.  Beef and Broccoli, it works for B.  You only have until Friday to enter.

I wrote a review over the weekend on my long-neglected review blog.  I am also running a giveaway until Friday.  So head on over and enter to win a Wanchai Ferry dinner entree.

Happy Thursday!  Since it’s Thursday, I am going to jump on the What the Hell Wednesday bandwagon.  Since I participated on Wednesday last week, I figure Thursday will keep the Blue Monkey Butt sisters on their toes.  Nothing is as good as keeping people guessing (except maybe chocolate covered pretzels).

I think a friend of mine on Facebook has been hacked.  Actually, I hope she has been hacked.  I keep getting messages from her, asking for money.  What the hell!?!  Since we haven’t spoken since she left Connecticut a few years ago, asking me for money is not the best way to rekindle a relationship.

The other night, I woke up at 3am in a panic attack.  I realized I hadn’t gotten back to someone who I thought was waiting for my call.  What the hell!?!  Of course, at 3am, there wasn’t a whole lot I could do about it.  I called her first thing in the morning and, of course, she didn’t realize I was supposed to call her.  So I lost sleep for no reason.

Amazon has introduced an app for my phone to turn it into a Kindle.  While I believe that writers should be paid for their work, I don’t understand why Kindle versions of books are so close in price to actual printed books.  In fact, there are even some that are more expensive.  What the Hell!?!  How can you justify charging more for the electronic version than for the print version which involves paper, printing, shipping, etc.?  It seems to me that since the digital reader industry is so competitive, I would try to charge less for the electronic version.  Of course, I have discovered the wonderful world of free books on Kindle.  So I have been downloading those books that are so old, they are no longer under copyright.  At least it gives me a chance to read all that old literature I would never read otherwise.  One thing on Kindle that is well worth the investment is Small Town Mommy.  You can have it delivered directly to your Kindle to read at your convenience.

Well, that’s it for me.  Don’t forget to visit the ladies from Blue Monkey Butt to find out what is happening with them.

I hope all my readers in the US had a happy 4th of July.  Unfortunately, Hamlet did not have a happy 4th.  Hamlet does not like fireworks.  He finds them a personal threat.

We have neighbors who set off fireworks and Hamlet was most displeased about it.  While the 4th was bad, the worst was last night.  Small Town Daddy took Joanna, my 7 year old, outside on the deck to look at the fireworks up the street.  While Hamlet was terrified, he felt it was his job to protect them.  He kept trying to herd them back inside (he is part corgi, he likes to herd).  Small Town Daddy and Joanna refused to listen.  I can imagine how frustrating it was for him.  Especially since it was for their own good.  I sometimes have the same reaction to them.

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible pain in my stomach.  I must have eaten something that didn’t agree with me and my stomach was really objecting.  And it was making itself felt, wholeheartedly.  I still feel a little queasy and I am afraid to eat anything.  At least I should lose a couple of pounds this way (let’s look at the bright side, nothing like the food poisoning diet).

Everyone has gone to camp today, let the happy dancing begin.  The good news is that I don’t have time to dance.  I have 2 new business pitches (yay) that I have to put together.  That is the nice kind of busy.  Yelling at children to get them to stop fighting is not the nice kind of busy.  But I do that a lot too.

So how is your summer going?  Did you have a good 4th of July?  Did you watch fireworks?  Did you eat a lot of good food?  Did that lead to stomach upset?  Share with me!

We went to fireworks on Friday, spent Saturday hanging out at the pool and today is the 4th.  Even though my mom is no longer with us, we do spend the day celebrating her birthday.  Posting on the 4th is always difficult for me.  I can’t ignore my mom’s birthday, but I can’t post the same thing year after year.  So where does that leave me?

This year was easy.  Libby has asked me to wish a happy birthday to her friend and penpal DJ.

Since we live in a small town, we are kind of hard up for entertainment.  We have a fair number of farms in the area and that is what we sometimes do for fun (I sometimes wonder if the high school students hang out and go cow tipping on a Saturday night).  Since the girls don’t start camp until next week, we conducted a scenic tour of farm stands yesterday (what, I am supposed to schedule activities that the kids enjoy?  What about me?  I am sure I have mentioned that it really is all about me).

Anyway, the kids enjoyed the first farm stand.  The farm has three chicken pens so we went to visit the chickens.  The girls hand fed them grass and all around bonded with the chickens.  At the second farm stand we were looking for something for dinner.  Sometimes, in the summer, when I don’t feel like cooking, we will do something called farm stand dinner.  I will purchase a smoked chicken breast and various produce and make dinner from it.  But the farm stand had no smoked chicken breasts.  When I asked the farmer, he explained that he hadn’t gotten any this week.  He then pointed out that he had chickens he had just killed if I wanted fresh.

Unfortunately, he said this in front of the girls.  The same girls who had been hand feeding chickens a few short minutes ago.  You would have thought he had told then that he was going to skin our dog.  They were horrified.

Needless to say, we dined vegetarian last night.  And I don’t think we will be having chicken for a little while.  I am okay with my children knowing where food comes from but there is a fine line between knowing where food comes from and knowing the person who actually killed your chickens.  For my girls, that is just a little too much.