This past weekend, I went to New Hampshire for a meeting.  If you have never been to New Hampshire, the roads there are really, really narrow.  It looks like you are driving through an alley.  I kept wondering if I was actually on a road.

Those who are unkind, call me directionally challenged.  I do tend to get lost sometimes rarely often.  So I usually use my phone which has a built-in GPS.  I program my phone to give me directions.  My phone and I were doing great for our 4 hour drive.  We took one highway.  Then we took another highway.  Then we took a third.  Everything was going just fine.  I even listened to an audio book I had downloaded from the library (my phone performed double duty).

Then I noticed that the battery on my phone was getting low.  Uh oh, I better plug it into the charger.  So I went to grab my charger.  Any my hand came up empty.  There was nothing there.  I had left my charger in Small Town Daddy’s car.  Even though I was enjoying the audio book, I really needed the GPS.  I have never been to New Hampshire so I had no idea where I was going.

I came up with the brilliant idea of getting my laptop and plugging the phone into the laptop.  It could charge from my computer.  I was almost to New Hampshire so it didn’t need to last too long.  I could suck up the charge from the laptop’s battery.  I was thrilled with my own brilliance.  So I got off the highway, got my laptop out of the back and set up everything.  And it didn’t work.  The stupid phone wouldn’t work.

At that point I had no idea what to do.  Before the GPS died for the last time, I made a note of what exit I should take.  So I got off the exit in a small town in New Hampshire and I was on my own.  I drove around the very narrow streets of this very pretty town, trying to avoid pedestrians.  I am pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to be on many of these roads since they weren’t exactly wide enough for 2 way traffic.  I was just about to give up when I saw a very small sign pointing towards a town named Rye.

I knew Rye should be near my destination since my GPS had implied that Rye was where the hotel was located.  So I followed the sign.  It took me across a narrow bridge onto an island.  At least I was now on the right island.  As I was crossing the bridge, I noticed a large white building that was much bigger than any other on the island.  Maybe that was the hotel.  So I decided to head towards the big white building.  Unfortunately, the road I was taking did not head towards the large white building, it went the other way.  I eventually found a road that headed in the general direction of the big white building.

I saw a sign that said it was the road the hotel was on.  So I tried to turn onto that road.  But it wasn’t it (mental note, the road signs in New Hampshire are not exactly clear).  I ended up at the Coast Guard station.  Luckily, there were no Coast Guard troops about.  So I turned around and aimlessly drove.  I was able to find the road again.  I turned onto it and amazingly found the hotel.  Even today, I am shocked that I was able to find the hotel.  With my sense of direction, I am lucky I didn’t end up in Tennessee.  But I made it to New Hampshire in time for the first meeting.

Last night, I should have spent the evening sitting around eating bon bons preparing for my trip to New Hampshire, but I didn’t. Instead, I found myself immersed in Small Town politics. Let’s have a collective, “Uggghhh!”

If you don’t live in a Small Town, you may have never experienced the joy that is a Board of Finance meeting. That’s right, I said finance. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate finance? And yet, I sat through the meeting anyway.

Like most small towns, the Small Town residents are very passionate. Unfortunately, they sometimes have difficulty verbalizing that passion.  The presentation portion was boring.  We saw how fabulous the town administration was at saving money (blah blah blah).  Then we heard about how empathetic the school board is (more blah blah blah).

The town budget in the Small Town never really gets any attention.  I don’t know if anyone cares.  But the school budget is always extremely contentious.  The older people in town don’t understand why we have to have schools anyway.  They are a huge money suck and parents should just homeschool already.

On the other side are the parents and other people who want to be able to sell their houses someday.  These people care about the schools because schools is all the Small Town has to offer.  It’s not like there is anything else here but trees.  If you ask anyone why they moved to the Small Town, they will tell you it is because of the schools (let me just point out that the Small Town also spends a lot of money protecting the trees).

I felt kind of bad for the old guys.  They belong to a group that we will call NABST (Nonpartisan Action for a Better Small Town).  They were difficult to understand and didn’t always make sense.  Also, when any of their opponents spoke, there were lots of applause.  When NABST spoke, crickets.  I don’t know if there were only 3 of them or if the rest of them were intimidated, but they didn’t appear to have much of a following.

The upshot appears to be that no one is happy with the school budget.  The NABST group wants to cut it by 10% (did I mention the even better idea of closing the schools completely?).  The parents want the budget to go up another .4% to refrain from cutting student services (2 programs are being cut).

It is 2 hours of my life that I will never get back.  Do you get involved in local politics?  Or do you leave it to someone else?  Maybe I should run for office?  Naw, it is much easier to criticize those who do run.

Today is Wednesday, What the Hell!  That means it is time to share some of the things that have been bugging me lately.  The Blue Monkey Butt sisters have invited the entire Internet to share the latest thing that is annoying.

This week is just flying by.  Probably because I have to go to a weekend meeting in New Hampshire.  Who goes to New Hampshire in March?  What the Hell?!?  It’s not like New Hampshire is known for its beautiful early spring weather.  I am just hoping it doesn’t snow.  They are going to make me do Zumba (damn team building exercises) at 7am.  I just looked at that Web page where I linked and boy are those people fit.  I refuse to bear my midriff.  No one pays me enough for that.

We had our septic tank cleaned.  It went fine, but I think the septic guy spilled a little when putting away his equipment (not that type of equipment, get your mind out of the gutter, people).  Normally, a small spill wouldn’t be a problem.  The rain (or snow) will eventually wash it away.  I don’t like nature, so I rarely go outside.  It isn’t going to bother me.  But then came The Conference Call.”  I was on a conference call and let Hamlet, the dog, out so he would stop annoying me (it’s like he has a 6th sense when I am on a work phone call).  I looked out the window and there was Hamlet, rolling around in the septic mud.  All together now, “Ewwwwww!”  What the Hell?!?  Who rolls around in mud from the septic tank?  I couldn’t even yell at him since I was on the phone, presenting a professional demeanor.  So Small Town Daddy came home to a smelly dog and the opportunity to give him a bath.  Now he just smells like dog (I never thought I would be grateful for the scent of dog but it beats the heck out of septic tank).

For some reason, I have recently started receiving spam in foreign languages.  What the Hell?!?  Receiving spam in my own language is bad enough, now I don’t even know what these people are saying to me.  At least spam me in a language I can read.

Now, leave me a comment to let me know what has been bugging you lately.  Then head off to visit the ladies from Blue Monkey Butt and find out what is annoying the rest of the Internet.

I have been sidelined by a sinus infection, but I wanted to share a video with all of you.  Last week, I titled a post, “Should We Talk About the Weather.”  I asked anyone to tell me where I got the title.  Only one person had a clue.  I am very disappointed in the rest of you.  Mrs. Bear guessed it was from an REM song and even provided the next line.  Yay Mrs. Bear!  You show a great dedication to 80s music.  You are my new best friend.

As Mrs. Bear said, the song is by REM and is called Pop Song 89.  Here is the video…

I hope you enjoy the video.  I will be here, taking my antibiotics and will hopefully feel better tomorrow.

I am thinking of changing my name from Small Town Mommy to Small Town Mommy Weather.  Because I feel like all I talk about is the weather.  I am becoming tiresome.  I don’t know if it has been exceptionally annoying sucky bizarre this year, but it seems like we are always having some type of weather issue, here in the Small Town.  The Small Town Ladies have their second snow day this week.  At least I wont have to worry about camp since they will probably be going to school well into the summer.

I realized that between sick kids, the weather and my schedule, I have been out of the house exactly twice this week (both times for kid activities).  While it certainly eases the laundry load, I am not sure it is that beneficial for my mental health.  Maybe I will strap on the skis and go (someplace?).

What amazes me about the weather is that they seem to cancel school at the drop of a hat here in the Small Town (did I mention that this is the second snow day THIS WEEK).  I seem to remember rarely having snow days when I was younger.   Of course, that led me to try to determine if times have changed or it is a difference in regions.  I tried to find any indication that the schools I attended are closed today and they appear to be open.  I guess I just grew up with more rugged administrators (or at least less afraid of lawsuits).

Even Small Town Daddy’s office is encouraging people to work from home.  Again, I have never had a professional snow day.  Sissies.

So do you have snow days?  For those of you who live in warm climes, (send some my way) do they close school in your region?  If so, why?  As an aside, can anyone tell me where I stole plagiarized got the post title?

Today is what the hell Wednesday, where I share some of the things that are bugging me lately.  Not quite as abstract as random thoughts, but possibly shorter (now that I finished writing, probably not shorter).

Small Town Daddy’s birthday is coming and he is being a pain in the behind about it (I am now noticing how many different words there are for ass).  What the hell?!?  I ask him what he wants and he tells me a universal remote control.  Ok, but really, does that narrow it down for everyone but me?  Since I am technologically challenged, does he really want me picking out his remote control?  Well, that is what he is going to get. I hope he likes standing up to press buttons on his electronics.   Who needs a remote anyway?

I woke up this morning with a headache.  What the hell?!?  I shouldn’t have to wake up with a headache, it should develop slowly from extended exposure to children.  I have nowhere to go but downhill from here.

For some reason, I feel like I have nothing to say.  What the hell?!?  It isn’t like I’m not pissed off about things but for some reason, I sound like a crazy ranting loon.

I think it is because I have a few friends who are going through really tough times right now so I find it hard to be funny (what, I have friends, I don’t spend all my time online).  In fact, I am going to digress here.  Many, many years ago (before husband and children), I handled the public relations for Nikon (remind me to share some photo tips someday.  I used to write lots of photo tips).  While there, I met an enthusiastic young lady named Stephanie.   We lost touch, but I was updated with what was happening with her through mutual friends.  Then we found each other on Facebook and reconnected.  She now has 4 children and lives in Holland.

Recently, Stephanie’s husband was diagnosed with stage 4 renal cancer.  If you don’t know, that’s bad: really, really bad.  In Holland, the only treatment available is to keep him comfortable until the end.  But Stephanie and Johan (did I mention that his name is Johan) were not willing to accept that answer, so they researched (sometimes, the Internet can be a good thing, it isn’t just random women like me babbling about their lives).  They found that there is a treatment that is available in the US.  As anyone in the US knows, US health care is really great for people who have top-notch health insurance.  Everyone else is out of luck.

Stephanie and Johan are trying to raise the money to give Johan the chance to watch his kids grow up.  Here is where I ask for a favor.  I don’t usually ask for favors (OK, sometimes, but this one is pretty easy and it isn’t for me).  The first thing I am asking is for you to join the Facebook group Help Johan.  This wont cost you anything and Stephanie and Johan receive $1 for every person who joins (the group also doesn’t send out a lot of annoying messages).

Also, if you have any disposable income, can you donate?  Anything will help, even a dollar.  I don’t think I have ever asked for money (although I did once hint that it would be nice if someone would click on my Google ads, but only if you find them interesting).  It takes a minute or 2 for your donation to process, but it is worth it.  It is a chance to truly pay it forward.  If you let them know that Small Town Mommy sent you, hopefully they will let me know and I can thank you personally.  And don’t forget to join the Facebook group.  That won’t cost you anything.

I know this wasn’t funny and I am sorry.  Sadly, Stephanie isn’t even the only friend I have that is going through a really tough time right now so it is hard to be amusing when you are worried about people.  Hopefully, we will get lots of donations from Small Town Mommy readers and I will be back to my cheery, shallow self tomorrow.  Meanwhile, visit the Blue Monkey Butt sisters.  They have no such problems and are sure to be amusing.

It’s Tuesday which means it must be snowing in the Small Town (again).  That’s right, school is closed (again).   Because a whole week off last week wasn’t enough.  Oh, what’s that?  You don’t care if it is snowing in the Small Town?  Well then kiss my ass butt patootie!  I guess that means it is time for Random Tuesday Thoughts, where I share some of the things I have been thinking about lately.

It is also sweat pants Tuesday.  Not as much fun as pajama Sunday, but at least I am comfortable.

This past weekend I practically doubled the size of my wardrobe.  And I was fed breakfast to do it.  Sometimes, life is good.  The reason I got all these clothes is that a friend of mine underwent gastric bypass surgery last summer.  She has lost a ton of weight.  I benefited because I got all the clothes that she can no longer wear (yes, I am that much larger than she is now, there’s no reason to rub it in.  I know you’re just jealous of all my new clothes).

I received a note from the Small Town elementary school cafeteria.  Apparently, Joanna owes them $3.  It turns out that if she asks nicely, they will extend credit to her.  In fact, she can use her school ID number (which I didn’t even know she had) to charge whatever she wants in the cafeteria.  Really, whose brilliant idea was it to give credit to a six year old?  Because six year olds are known for their level of responsibility?  Can I get her an American Express card next?  I can just imagine the bill I get when Joanna eats her weight in ice cream.

That is all that’s happening here.  I think my brain is atrophied from spending too much time with children.  And since there is no school again today, I get more time.  I wonder if I will ever recover.  Don’t forget to stop off and visit Keely to find out what random things are happening in Canada.

Since last week was February break, we left the Small Town for a couple of days.  You have to get out of the Small Town every once in a while or you will completely lose your mind and start writing a lot of nonsense about cats.

We went to Boston, since it isn’t too far from here.  Small Town Daddy used to work in Boston and my dad used to live in Boston so both of us are pretty familiar with it.

This week, everyone is back home and the girls are returning to school and Small Town Daddy is returning to work (let the cheering begin).  So far, one girl has already left for school and there is one more to go.  Can you sense that I can’t wait.

Of course, on Mondays, I volunteer in Joanna’s classroom so I will really only be separated from her for an hour.  But I plan to really enjoy this hour.  I am going to shower (yee ha).

Over the break, I have been reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.  I am not sure that I like it.  Someone basically rewrote Pride and Prejudice and injected zombie throughout the story.  Since it is written in the same type of English as the original, it is somewhat difficult to read.  While I do understand it, I don’t know that I have the attention span to read something this slowly.  I finished high school a year or 2 (or 25) ago.  The cover art is cool.

I am just not sure I can finish it before it is due at the library (I have already had to renew it once).

I am very pleased to be back in the Small Town (alright, not exactly pleased to be back here, but pleased to be back with you).  I have some exciting things planned for the month of March because I have decided to start doing things specifically because they will make entertaining blog posts.  And, of course, we will be back tomorrow with Random Tuesday Thoughts.

Today is Wednesday and to celebrate, I am going to share some of the things that have been bugging me lately.  Don’t thank me, you can thank Elle and Stacy who started What the Hell Wednesday.  So, here we go.

In my post about my cat and the Soft Claws, I received a lot of credit for being able to put the claw covers onto my cat.  While I am usually more than happy to accept credit, even when it isn’t deserved, in this case, I can’t.  Oreo, the cat in question, is really more like a pillow than a cat.

He will allow you to do anything as long as you don’t make him move.

I know I keep complaining about the weather and even I am getting tired of hearing myself, but What the Hell?!?  We were supposed to get a couple of inches of snow yesterday and we ended up with 9 inches.  Why can’t the weather guy get things right already.  From now on, I am just going to ignore him.

This morning, I was looking for something to complain about, so I asked Small Town Daddy.  When I suggested I might complain about him, he told me he was perfect.  What the Hell?!?  First of all, no one is perfect.  Second of all, you can’t get any further from perfect than Small Town Daddy.  He snores.  Loudly.  It scares the neighbors.

While Joanna is recovering from her ear infection, Libby suddenly got sick.  What the Hell?!?  I go from 2 healthy kids to everyone being sick.  Have you ever noticed that kids get demanding when they get sick.  OK, let me correct that.  Kids get more demanding when they are sick.  My kids, at least, are always demanding.

Don’t you hate it when your spouse knows you better than you know yourself?  Back around Christmas time, Small Town Daddy asked if I might like a docking station for my phone.  It would turn my phone into an alarm clock.  I told him no.  So he got me one for Valentine’s Day.  What the Hell?!?  And I totally love it.  It tells me the time, date and weather from my bed.  I can play whatever music I want to wake up.  It totally rocks.

Well, that’s it for me.  Don’t forget to check out the ladies from Blue Monkey Butt to see the latest on what is annoying people on the Internet.

Hello and happy Tuesday!  It’s time for Random Tuesday Thoughts, where you can discover just how vapid my mind actually is (if you don’t know what vapid means, look it up).  Remember, the kids are home from school this week so thoughts may be even more disjointed than usual.  I get about halfway through a thought and someone screams, “Mom, I need ..,” so if I start pouring juice, just say thank you and drink it without complaining (and no, she didn’t get more).

Sunday was my birthday.  Now, in the Small Town household, my birthday is a national holiday on scale with Christmas Thanksgiving Arbor Day.  I insist that everyone celebrate (in fact, I will drag them kicking and screaming, if I must).  I don’t need expensive presents or elaborate plans, I just want everyone to do whatever I say, the second I ask.  Even better would be anticipating my every whim and making it happen before I have to ask.

As part of my birthday celebration, Libby and I put something called Soft Claws onto the cat (I know, I know, lame, but I am a crazy cat lady so it was a highlight for me).  Soft claws are rubber claw covers that keep a cat from scratching the furniture, rugs, kids, etc.  They don’t hurt him at all.

Although he objected when I started applying them, we have discovered that he will do just about anything for a cat treat (or 12), even sit still while I glue rubber covers to his claws.  Fortunately, the little cat doesn’t scratch on the furniture so she doesn’t need Soft Claws.  She is not as open to new experiences.

Joanna woke up Friday night, screaming that her ear hurt.  We weren’t sure if it really hurt or if she was just trying to sleep in our bed.  Since it still hurt on Saturday morning, I caved and took her to the doctor.  I have been fighting with her over the antibiotics since then (yes, it was an ear infection).  For some reason, I am making her take them simply because I enjoy making her suffer.

Well, that’s it for the Small Town.  We have snow again so I am just waiting with baited breath for the spring thaw.  If it snows anymore, I think I am going to build a dog sled and get the heck outta here.  Don’t forget to stop by and visit Keely to see what the rest of the Internet is thinking.